SCORPIO: Don’t ever tell Scorpios they’ve had enough, for they’ll smirk at you and quietly but
intentionally keep tippling till they’re hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to
drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in
itself, and not as a personality-altering tool — though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total
obliteration. But generally, they’re fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying
flirts. They also remember everything — especially what you did when you were blitzed.
Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.


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