I’ve been having breif moments of doubt.
I find it hard to beleive that I’m going to be
saying goodbye.

I know I can’t let anything keep me from growing
and pursuing greater goals…I just wish he had
the desire to grow with me.

I know that we’ll always be a big part of each
other’s lives, but I worry whether that’s going
to be enough. I know I will always love him, and
that he’ll always be very special to me. I see
myself visiting often, and making an effort to
keep in touch as much as possible.

But still…part of me can’t help but wonder if
I’m doing the right thing. Am I being selfish?
Am I not trying hard enough? Should I just


  1. dmaleus on 04.19.2005

    You are not being selfish. You are following what your heart needs and you’re also at the mercy of whatever the universe decides to throw your way.

    Compromise is only worthy when both parties stand a good chance to come out ahead in the end. It’s no place to live.

  2. iwantchai on 04.19.2005


    Hey, I might end up spending a few weeks in Raleigh as a result
    of all this. It’d be great to see you while I’m there.

  3. anteklb on 04.20.2005

    Amen to that.. it’s the balance I had to find when I ended my relationship. kudos to you for taking it on.. it wasn’t easy :(

  4. dmaleus on 04.20.2005

    When do you think you’ll be in the area?

    I’ll be in Philly over the second weekend in June, and I’ll be rehearsing a show in Raleigh in July.

  5. iwantchai on 04.20.2005

    Most likely mid or end of July.

  6. dmaleus on 04.20.2005

    cool! i’ll still be doing cat on a hot tin roof at that time, or just ending the show, so i’ll be free.

  7. iwantchai on 04.28.2005

    I wanted to email you and realized I don’t have any of
    your contact info. I came across an old email you’d
    forwarded me (it’s in print tho, not electronic) that
    was originally sent to you by Kiet. Brought back memories…

  8. dmaleus on 04.28.2005

    thadman at gmail dot com is what i’m using these days.

    Ah, those were the days, eh? Back when I was madly in love with a cute closeted boy who persisted in getting nearly undressed in front of me. He called me a couple of weekends ago, actually. I was in Denver and had sent a txt message to his phone wishing him a happy birthday. It’s funny that we’ve become friends after the strangeness that was our first year knowing each other.

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