Am I losing him?
The surprise was a flop.
I think he was impressed at my attempt, but nonetheless he already has other plans.
Like many other things, it just wasn’t good enough.
I feel like I’m a less important part of his life than I had been.
The distance is growing, and I feel like I’m being pushed away.
Time is running out, and a decision will soon be made.
Am I prepareing myself for the worst?
Am I again sabotaging things?
I don’t know.
But it hurts not knowing what this is.
Where this is going?
Am I wasting time/energy on something that isn’t there?
Are we just friends in his mind?
It sure does seem like it.
Why did everything suddenly change after his return from Vietnam?
Before his trip, it felt like everything was so sure.
I want to see him soon, but that time will not come quickly enough.
Missed Connections
The last few weeks have been intense. Rather than try to sum up events
since I left San Francisco, I’ll just link the result of my Saturday
evening activities. I hit up several clubs around town while Nick was
working and found myself at a 24hr cafe where I consumed black bean
soup and pancakes in a rediculous drunken state. There was a brief
flirtation which resulted in the following Craigslist ad:
http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/149610183.html
We’ve since tracked each other down and had a few drinks last night.
Fun times…I now have a few new friends in Chicago!
