Windy City

07.27.2005

I’m in Chicago today.

Transformus was amazing this past weekend.
Despite the oppressive humidity, the lakes and
forested mountains made it all worthwhile.
Swimming nude was refreshing, and I finished the
weekend with one hell of a tan.

I updated my travelblog with some pictures from
my drive to North Carolina from New Jersey.

Tonight we are going barhopping, and hopefully
having a drink at the Signature Lounge, located
on the 96th floor of the John Hancock Building.

Confidence

07.22.2005

Lately I’ve been feeling very confident and it’s an amazing feeling.
I’ve always lacked self-confidence…but for one reason or another
I have been feeling very good lately. I’ve found that I am getting
treated slightly differently by people I meet also. In a very good
way. I think Matt’s statement basically sums it up:

a s c h k e 4 2: confidence is very hot

There and Back again

07.22.2005

So I’ve begun the long trip back to the West Coast.

For those of you that had hoped to see me while I
was on the East Coast…I’m sorry. This trip was
very much about spending quality time with family.

I had lunch with my mom today. I’ve not had a
conversation with her in nearly 8 years. I saw
her 2 years ago, but even then little was said
to each other. I think she’s ready to have me
back in her life at some level. An important
first step was taken today…I’m looking forward
to seeing where this goes.

This weekend will be spent camping in Ashville
with and .
Well…maybe not “camping”…but playing together
at Transformus.

I still have another 150 miles or so until I arrive, so
I better get back on the road. Fuck you *$ for running out
of soy milk. This green tea is not quite fueling me like
a triple espresso would have!!!

He misses me…

07.12.2005

Got an email from Erik.
He doesn’t often share his feelings,
so his email caught me off guard.

If it wasn’t for the move and the
distance I’m sure we still would
be together.

I care for him a lot, but also
realize that we want different
things out of life at this stage.

So perhaps the distance at the
moment is for the better.

Looking back I can see what was
missing, and realize what it is
that I require to be truly happy.

Stone Penguin

07.12.2005

I’ve been gifted with a penguin carved from lapis lazuli.
Different circumstances may have yielded a different end result.

We both feel the same way, which makes me feel happy…yet sad.
It’s invigorating to bond so well with someone on so many levels.
It’s also refreshing to find yourself immensely attracted to
someone else based on their personality…way before seeing them
naked.

I’ll see Cody again in SF next month.
I wonder if the closeness we’ve shared recently will continue.

In Transition

07.09.2005

That really kind of sums up what’s up with me right now.
I’ve been at my dad’s for two weeks now, soon to head down
to North Carolina, then two weeks of journeying back west.

I plan on arriving in SF a week or two before the semester
starts. I’m living with rob at least until December, maybe
longer…we will see…I’m looking forward to painting the
bedroom…molten bronze is a pretty close match to what I’m
imagining…

I hung out with some time with friends, even gained a new
(very cute) one…Cody’s a sweet guy, and I’ve had fun
hanging out with him. He’s visiting Berkeley in August,
so I’ll see him again next month…so I’ll be playing tour
guide during my first month of living in SF! 😉

On a side note, I need to make it a habit of swapping CD’s
with new friends…this selection he picked out is really
nice…it’s an interesting way to get to know someone better.

Work…meh…I’ve been working 40+hr weeks lately…but
I guess I can’t complain much…at least I’m doing it from
the comfort of the couch (or starbucks).

I’ve been keeping in touch with Erik, and everything feels
okay right now. It really was nice to see him when I was
in town two weeks ago…almost felt like I hadn’t left.
I hope we’re able to maintain that level of comfort with
each other.