There and back again


I’m starting to look forward to the big changes ahead.
There is a lot to be excited about.
Plans are taking hold.
This summer has the potential be a journey of
life-changing popoortions. It will also be a
search for … something?

I know when the time comes to execute these plans
I will again be faced with the infinite sadness
that visited me a few weeks ago.

My plans for the summer involve a road trip to
New Jersey to spend time with my dad, and then
down to North Carolina to spend time with my
grandparents, then back…

But not back to Long Beach, or Los Angeles, but
to San Francisco…my new home.

So if any of my lj friends would like to cross
paths with me whilst I cross the country (twice),
let me know. I’m still thinking about my route,
but it won’t be a straight shot…Especially on
my way East. I’m thinking of maybe two weeks of
meandering across the continent. There’s a lot
to see between the two oceans…

Red Crayon!


One more month of ass-whoopin


So one more month of classes left.

Just got grades in for the latest Chemistry and Physics exams.

I’m managing to maintain an A average in both, but they’re
close enough to the cutoff to keep the heat on through the

As for Calculus, well, my average is still below 70. I have
another exam on Tuesday, so I’ll be studying my ass off between
now and then in an attempt to finally get a passing grade.

Looks like it’s coming down to the wire here. Not that I
don’t have enough bs to worry about over the next month.

If I become increasingly cranky with any of you between
now and finals, please forgive me. I’ve got a lot of shit
going on right now.

Best I’ve seen on thus far…


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i do not like you calculus, not in a box, not with a fox


Dear Calculus Prof:

You made me very angry tonight. Thanks to you my brain was
no longer able to function for the rest of the evening.



Doing what’s right is so hard


I’ve been having breif moments of doubt.
I find it hard to beleive that I’m going to be
saying goodbye.

I know I can’t let anything keep me from growing
and pursuing greater goals…I just wish he had
the desire to grow with me.

I know that we’ll always be a big part of each
other’s lives, but I worry whether that’s going
to be enough. I know I will always love him, and
that he’ll always be very special to me. I see
myself visiting often, and making an effort to
keep in touch as much as possible.

But still…part of me can’t help but wonder if
I’m doing the right thing. Am I being selfish?
Am I not trying hard enough? Should I just



You know
That I adore you
You know
That I love you
So don’t make me say it
It would burst the bubble
Break the charm

It’s done


We had the talk.

No surprises, really.

Although I’d suspected this
would be the outcome, the
realization that it was
happening overwhelmed me with
emotion and the tears came forth.

So the ball is now in my court.

Discussions with key people
over the next few days will
determine where I’ll be come June.

I worry that things will happen
so fast. I want to enjoy the
time we still have together.
I must not allow my anticipated
departure to prevent us from
enjoying each other’s presence.

It’s hard parting ways with
someone you love. He’s my
best friend, and it’s going to
be lonely without him at my side.

Just lovely


So Brian left a note this morning that he received an email from the
owners late last night warning him that we’ll be receiving an
eviction notice sometime today.

We need to be out by June 20.

We’re going to discuss all the details tomorrow morning, I guess.

So I’ve got 2 months to figure something out.
So much for all the hard work (and money) I’ve put into my garden :-(
So much for having a low-stress summer.

On the other hand…is this an oportunity to move North early?

Does this force the above issue to be discussed in a serious
forum between Erik and I?

Guess that means we’re going to be throwing one hell of a party
at our house sometime in June…

40 mi bike ride, anyone?


Well, Erik’s not up for this so I’m looking for someone to ride with.
The info is here:

If you’re interested, please let me know.

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